Healing Through Music
is this a good poem? I wrote it :>?
My words that ate at your heart like a cookie,
My dreams that inspired my wonderings,
My eyes that saw through your insecurities,
My laughter that held back my unidentified pity on the radar,
My actions that kept my supplementary angles stable,
My family that turned every hellish word you threw at me into dandelions,
My vision that caught every false lie that hit the ball out of the park,
My music that healed damaged essence and beauty of myself through symphony,
My friends that remind me that you are the acid to my health; the chemical that kills,
You are the chemical; the thief; the word shaker, the drug,
The drug that I keep coming back to,
The drug that I always look into myself and ask myself for more.
It’s full of angst but as a poem I don’t personally like it.
Also you need to think about the sentence construction.
In the first line the way you have written it your words are a cookie. As far as I know cookies don’t eat anything so it doesn’t make any sense. It needs to be completely rewritten.
Then you contradict yourself in the next two lines and further down you change from aggressor to victim, I accept this may be intentional but the transition is too clumsy.
Having said all of that I would like to applaud you for having the courage to post your work.
Kathi Wilson Christian healing music, helping with loss and grief recovery
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